A Garden In December
by taylorjay
Summary: "They say that God gives us children so that we can have Roses in December. Well, you gave me a whole garden full."- Armageddon. After receiving his rejection letter from NYADA, Kurt begins to doubt that he really matters to anybody. FINISHED-EPILOGUE UP!
1. Chapter 1

**TEXT **

**To: Kurt Hummel**

**From: Rachel Berry**

**KURT! Hurry to your house quick! Our NYADA letters came and I got in! I want to hear if you got in too! If you haven't responded in twenty minutes, I will make Finn open your letter and tell me!**

* * *

><p>Kurt sighed, turning his phone off and setting it on his bed. He was home, he'd been home for about ten minutes already. His NYADA letter sat on his nightstand, unopened. A letter from Ohio State sat underneath it. Kurt was intending to go to NYADA, but after not getting the lead in West Side Story, he'd decided to use Ohio State as a safety school.<p>

He sighed and grabbed his letter, sliding his finger under the seal. This was his future, and in less than thirty seconds, he was going to know how his future would play out. He pulled the paper from the envelope, opening it slowly.

_Dear Mr. Kurt Hummel,_

_ We are sorry to inform you that you have not been accepted…_

Kurt didn't need to read any more. He knew that NYADA and New York had been a long shot, but it still stung to know that Rachel would be going to New York and he would not. All of their perfectly constructed plans about getting an apartment together on the lower east side and being on Broadway together all had been decimated in just twelve words.

Panicking slightly, Kurt dropped the letter and picked up the one to Ohio State. It was the same size as his NYADA letter- did that also mean it was a rejection letter? He ripped the letter out and unfolded it.

_Dear Mr. Kurt Hummel,_

_We are pleased to inform you that you have been wait-listed to attend Ohio State. At this point we cannot confirm an acceptance, but there is still a lot of time for other candidates to decide to attend elsewhere, which will open up spots for those on the wait- list. No action is required on your part, we'll be sure to let you know if your admissions status has changed…_

Kurt dropped the Ohio State letter next to his NYADA letter. He hadn't even been good enough to get to Ohio State. Being wait-listed meant nothing. They were just too polite to reject him outright, and so filled him with false hope that he might be accepted later on down the line. It was common knowledge that people who were wait-listed to Ohio State hardly ever got in.

He hadn't been good enough. He wasn't going to make it to New York, and at this rate, he wasn't even going to be able to go to college period.

He hadn't been good enough. Boy, had he been feeling a lot of that lately. Not manly enough to play Tony, not popular enough to become class president, and- according to Sebastian- not good enough for Blaine.

Blaine. That was who he needed now.

By this point, it was almost 3:30, which meant that Blaine would be on his way to the Lima Bean for his 'Post- Rehearsal Medium Drip', as he'd once called it.

He walked downstairs, picking up the keys to his Navigator numbly when he saw a note from his dad next to them.

_Hey Kurt, _

_ Johnny from the shop managed to score two last minute tickets to tonight's Buckeyes game, so Finn and I won't be back until late. Carole has a meeting with her book club after work so she'll be home late as well, so you're on your own for dinner. Just because you have the house to yourself doesn't mean I want any funny business either._

_ Love, Dad_

Kurt left his Dad's note on the counter, turning towards the door with his keys in hand. Just another reminder of something he wasn't enough for- not enough like Finn where his dad could enjoy doing things together with him like going to football games.

He climbed into his car and drove to The Lima Bean, right now just needing nothing more than Blaine, a blanket, and Moulin Rouge for the rest of the night.

He pulled into the parking lot and he could see Blaine sitting at a table in the window of the small coffee shop. Kurt moved to open the door and go join him when he saw Sebastian sit down across from Blaine and immediately engage him in conversation.

Blaine laughed at something Sebastian said, and something inside Kurt broke. He sat back in his seat and watched their conversation.

Sebastian was right. Blaine was too good for him. Blaine didn't need someone who was never going to succeed, who was always going to hold him back. If Blaine was with Sebastian, he wouldn't have to be as afraid all the time, as Sebastian didn't look as obviously gay as Kurt did and was less likely to draw attention to the two of them. Sebastian was talented, he had what it took to make it. Blaine would be a star, Kurt knew, and he needed someone who could be in the spotlight next to him, not holding him down. It wouldn't take Blaine too long to forget about Kurt. Sebastian would have no problem stepping in and taking Blaine's attention right for himself. Blaine- he didn't need Kurt.

When Kurt thought about it- nobody really needed him. No one would really loose much if he was gone. His dad had Finn- he had Finn to relate to and do boy things with and if Kurt wasn't around then he wouldn't have to do all the things that Kurt liked to do that his dad only did because Kurt enjoyed them. His dad had Carole now to take care of him, to make sure he ate the right things for his heart. His dad didn't need him to take care of him anymore.

The glee club didn't need him. Rory could sing everything he could. Mercedes hardly talked to him anymore with Sam around. Santana had Brittney, Rory had Sam and Finn, Blaine had Rachel and Finn and Sam now to look after him. Finn didn't need him at all- his reputation probably was never helped by the fact that he always had to look after Kurt and make sure that he wasn't being bothered. It would be a lot of stress off of Finn's back if Kurt wasn't around.

Nobody needed Kurt. They'd be sad for a little while, sure, but they'd get over it. New Directions had Regionals to worry about and prepare for and his dad had his new family and Blaine would have Sebastian. He would probably go back to Dalton where he was safer, anyways, without Kurt around to look after.

With a new air of resignation, Kurt drove away from the Lima Bean. Sure, there had been other times he had considered suicide, times when the bullying got to be too much, but this was the first time that he knew that removing himself from the equation would be for the better good.

He drove to the bridge on the outskirts of Lima. Cutting or Pills or Hanging, all those methods would leave a body behind, something for people to deal with that would make getting over him harder. It would be much easier if he just disappeared. The river would carry his body away- it would never be found. There would be less pain for everyone. There would be no letters or goodbyes, no drama. It would be simple and people would get over it quickly and life would go on.

He parked near the entrance to the bridge and got out. The bridge was out of the way- barely used, so there wasn't much of a chance of someone catching him. He walked along the side of the bridge, running his hand on the railing. It could be the last thing he felt, since he didn't believe in any kind of afterlife.

He stopped halfway across the bridge. The river was deep enough and wide enough and would move fast enough. The bridge was high enough. It was just Kurt who wasn't enough: enough to make anything of himself in this world.

He wasn't much of a person to look up to, so maybe it was a good thing that he would never be famous. Nobody would ever look up to him and say "I want to be just like Kurt Hummel!"

Now, nobody would have the chance.

Kurt pulled himself up to stand on the railing. Once he jumped, there would be no turning back. All he had to do was psyche himself up to do it.

He had to jump.

He had to jump.

He had to jump. On the count of three, he would do it. One, two-

"Don't do this, Kurt."

Kurt whipped around. Noah Puckerman was standing a few feet away from him, hands out as if to approach Kurt cautiously. Of all the people to catch Kurt attempting suicide, it had to be Puck.

Kurt turned back around to face the river. "Please go away, Noah. There's nothing you can do."

"Come on Kurt, just come down and explain to me what's so bad that you want to do this. I won't stop you if you still want to do this after you tell me about it, but please, just come down for a few minutes to explain it to me." Puck said calmly.

"I'm sorry, Noah. You can't help me. Please, just go." Finally, at last, there were tears. Kurt hadn't cried the entire time that he was realizing that nobody needed him, but now they were pouring down his face. "Isn't this what you wanted? You spent four and a half years making my life miserable, Noah. I'm just giving you what you wanted. It's like on my first day of high school, when you and Azimio locked me in the dumpster, and then spray painted 'All fags go to hell' on my car. I'm just doing what you wanted."

"No, Kurt, I don't want that anymore. I've changed, Kurt, you know that. We're in glee together now, man. I don't want that, not at all. Please, get down." Puck pleaded.

"Goodbye, Noah."

Kurt jumped at the same time that Puck lunged forwards to try to stop him. Kurt felt strong arms wrap around his waist at the same time he saw the concrete railing rushing up to meet his face.

And then he remembered no more.

* * *

><p>AN: Don't worry, the story doesn't end there! This will probably be a two or three shot with more to come in the next few days!


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Burt

Burt was having his ticket scanned at the entrance to the Buckeyes game when his phone rang. He pulled Finn to the side as soon as he got through the gates and answered it.

"Hello?"

"Mr. Hummel, it's Puck." The voice on the other end was more subdued than Burt had ever heard it.

"Puck, you've known me for sixteen years and you've never called me 'Mr. Hummel'. Whatever you broke, just replace it before we get home and we'll call it even, okay?" Burt chuckled.

"No, Burt, it's not that. It's- uh- it's Kurt. He's in the hospital."

The world, everything around Burt seemed to stop momentarily, then came crashing back upon him. "What happened? Is he okay?"

Finn's ears perked up at the words and he moved closer, trying to ask Burt silently what was wrong.

"He's gonna be fine, but I think you should come down. I took him to Lima Memorial." Puck's voice was subdued.

"What happened? You took him?" Burt was confused. Puck and Kurt didn't normally hang out, so why was Puck around when Kurt was hurt?

"I found him- he was going to jump off the bridge south of town. I stopped him from jumping, but he still hit his head pretty bad. The doctor said that it would need staples, and he was still unconscious when they took him back. They say he might have a concussion, but they won't know for sure until he wakes up."

Burt tugged Finn back through the gates. "Puck, I'm on my way. I'll call Carole. She'll be there first, she's in Lima, but I'm down at Ohio State with Finn. I'm on my way."

"I'll wait for Carole, then. Thanks, Burt." Puck hung up and Burt put his phone away.

"What's going on, Burt?" Finn asked as the two of them jogged back to Burt's car, fighting the crowds headed into the stadium for the game.

"Kurt's in the hospital. I'm sorry Finn, but we have to go." Burt felt bad that he wouldn't be able to take Finn to the game like he promised but he hoped Finn would understand.

"Of course!" Finn said as they reached Burt's car.

They got in and buckled up. Burt pulled out of the parking lot and began to speed back towards Lima.

"What happened?" Finn asked him.

"Kurt- he tried to commit suicide. Puck found him and stopped him but he still got hurt." Burt couldn't help the overwhelming guilt flooding his body. If Kurt wanted to commit suicide, he must have been hurting- and Burt hadn't noticed.

Finn seemed to be frozen in shock, his mouth hanging open. "He tried to kill himself?" He made a noise of protest. "I- I don't-"

"Puck caught him at Mohone Bridge." Burt nodded solemnly.

Finn was quiet for a few minutes. "He seemed so happy. I didn't notice anyone bothering him, or that there was any bullying, I swear, Burt, I would have done something if I'd seen anything at all." Finn said quickly.

"This isn't your fault, Finn. We all missed any kinds of warning signs there might have been."

"Should I call Blaine and have him meet us there? He would want to know."

Burt nodded, "I think so. Whatever this is, he's going to need Blaine's help to get through it."

* * *

><p><span>Blaine<span>

Blaine pretended to laugh once again at one of Sebastian's thinly veiled innuendos, trying to pass it off as just a joke. He really didn't care for Sebastian's company and he wished he would leave him alone, but he wasn't mean enough to tell Sebastian to leave outright.

"So, we should go back to Scandals on Friday, maybe do some more dancing without the chaperone?" Sebastian grinned at him.

Blaine's eyes narrowed. He didn't like the way that Sebastian talked about Kurt- like Kurt was some sort of buzzkill. Blaine didn't exactly appreciate Sebastian's idea of fun, trying to get him to cheat on Kurt. Blaine didn't need to do anything with Kurt to be 'having fun'. Just being with Kurt was enough for him. But when they did get alone time, Blaine and Kurt had plenty of fun, and Blaine smiled at the memory of a few nights ago, completely ignoring whatever Sebastian was saying. What Blaine and Kurt had was real, was going to last, and he didn't appreciate Sebastian trying to cheapen the most beautiful thing in his world.

Blaine's phone began to ring, and Blaine took it as a distraction, stepping away from the table. Sebastian wasn't pleased to be interrupted at all.

The caller ID said it was Finn, which was strange. Finn didn't normally call Blaine.

"Hey, Finn," Blaine answered the phone.

"Blaine? It's Kurt, he's in the hospital." Finn's voice was rushed, poorly disguised panic shining through.

Blaine nearly dropped his phone, collapsing back into his chair.

"He's going to be okay, but Burt and I are a couple hours away. Carole should be at the hospital by now, but Burt thought that Kurt would want you there. He's at Lima Memorial." Finn told him.

"I'm ten minutes away," Blaine assured, "I'll leave right now." Blaine hung up and left the table, not even saying goodbye to Sebastian. He ran to his car and climbed in, getting out of the parking lot and speeding towards the hospital.

He parked quickly and sloppily and ran into the Emergency Room waiting area, where Puck and Carole were standing with a doctor, about to leave for another part of the hospital.

"They're moving him out of the Emergency Room and into his own room," Carole told Blaine as soon as she spotted him, grabbing his arm comfortingly. "He still hasn't woken up and they're kind of worried about that, but they're sure that he'll come around. They're keeping him at least overnight, assuming he wakes up soon, but tomorrow they might let us take him home or help us transport him to a rehabilitation facility, based on how Kurt feels about what happened." Carole informed him softly as they walked to Kurt's new room.

"Carole, I'm way behind, here. I don't even know why he's here." Blaine said, lost in what Carole had told him.

They arrived at Kurt's room and Carole sat Blaine down on the bench outside. "Before you see him, you need to know. Puck found him at Mahone bridge. He was going to try to commit suicide." Her voice was hushed, even though there was nobody around but Puck to overhear them. Blaine wanted to throw up. She couldn't be right. Kurt wouldn't do that. "Puck was able to stop him, but he hit his head. He had to get 5 staples, which will be covered by his hair, and he probably has a concussion, but they won't know for sure until he wakes up."

"He tried to kill himself?" Blaine nearly whimpered.

"It seems so." Carole put her arm around Blaine's shoulders, pulling him into a hug.

"I need to see him." Blaine pulled away and went into Kurt's room and there he was. Part of Blaine wished this whole thing was a dream and that it wasn't the love of his life lying there on a bed with an IV and a heart monitor and oxygen tubes in his nose, looking so pale under the fluorescent lighting, his hair matted with leftover blood that the ER hadn't had the time to remove.

He felt a hand on his shoulder and saw Puck standing to his right, head down.

Blaine sat down in a chair on Kurt's left side and moved to grab his hand when he realized that it was bound in soft restraints.

"Why are his hands tied up?" He asked brokenly.

"Hospital policy," Puck responded quietly, "They restrain anyone who they believe might be a danger to themselves or others.

Blaine took Kurt's hand anyway, staring at his boyfriend's blank face, usually so expressive, and cried. He swore to himself that he would do anything to fix this, to make Kurt better. He still wasn't sure why it had happened, but he would do anything to take the pain away.

Like Kurt, he was mostly agnostic, but he still couldn't help but pray that his boyfriend would wake up soon.


	3. Chapter 3

As soon as Kurt was aware of himself, aware of more than just blackness and nothingness, he realized that he was lying down on his stomach.

The asphalt ground was rough against his skin as he came to realize his surroundings. A cool mist was setting upon him.

He opened his eyes to see that he was lying on the bridge- the same one he had tried to jump from, to kill himself.

"Hey, baby," a soft, feminine voice that Kurt knew very well spoke from above him.

Kurt picked up his head. In front of him stood his mother, hand outstretched to help him up. He took it and she pulled him to his feet.

"Mom," he whispered, wrapping her in a hug. She was soft, warm- just like he remembered.

Elizabeth Hummel was as beautiful in death as she had been in life. Her chestnut hair flowed down her shoulders and her long eyelashes swept against her cheeks every time she blinked.

"Oh, sweetheart," Her arms wrapped around his shoulders, embracing him tightly, "I never wanted to see you here."

"Am I dead?" Kurt asked, pulling away from her.

"No, not yet," His mother told him, "You're in a coma." She pulled him under her arm. "I have a few things to show you before you get to make that choice. After I'm done, you can choose if you'd like to go back or go on."

"Is it nice, going on?" Kurt asked her.

"It's beautiful, baby." She stroked his face warmly, "But I think you have a lot more potential from your life than you thought you did."

"I miss you, mom- so much. I wish you hadn't had to go." Kurt buried his face in her shoulder and cried.

"Hey now, no more tears." She pushed him away enough to see his face. "I'm not in any more pain, and I'm happy. I get to watch you grow into the incredible man that you are, I get to see your father be truly happy again. I miss being able to hold you every day, but the time I had with you was enough. You truly don't realize how beautiful and innocent your soul is, Kurt. You have such a capacity for love and no room for hate. When I was little, my father used to tell me that 'God gives us children so that we can have roses in December'. Kurt, you brought us a garden full of them. You always found new ways to see the world more compassionately, and when someone didn't agree, instead of fighting them on it, you invited them to come and stand beside you and see the world from your perspective. You change people's hearts, Kurt." Elizabeth smiled, "I know you changed your father's and mine. You changed Blaine's."

"Blaine," Kurt whispered. It hurt to let Blaine go, more than anything ever had before. It felt like his heart was torn to shreds. The only thing that he could find hope in is that one day Blaine would find someone to be happy with again, someone better than Kurt.

"He loves you, Kurt. More than I think you know or realize. He comes and talks to me a lot." Elizabeth stroked his hair.

"He does?" Kurt asked her.

"About once a week or so, actually. He comes and sits with me and he tells me all about you and how beautiful he thinks you are and how much that he adores you and that he never wants to be apart from you and that he's scared that you'll find someone better than him when you go to college, but he wouldn't protest because he wants you to be happy, and he wants the best for you."

"There isn't anyone else for me that could make me happier than he does. Blaine was it for me. I was worried that I could never be enough for him." Kurt told her.

"Kurt, that boy adores you. I think it's time you saw what you came here to see." She grabbed his hand and together they began to walk into the must, emerging in a hospital hallway.

There was a doctor in the hallway standing with his father, Carole, Finn, and Blaine. It was obvious nobody could see Kurt or Elizabeth.

The doctor was talking, "The blow that he took to the head was more severe than we originally anticipated, and he's slipped into a coma. We're very positive about his condition; he just needs some extra time for his brain to heal before he can wake up. The coma is the brain's way of protecting itself while it fixes itself."

"How long can we expect this to last?" Burt asked the doctor.

Blaine seemed unnaturally quiet, Kurt noted. His head was hung and his hands were in his pockets.

"Mr. Hummel, honestly, I don't have an answer for you right now. He could wake up tonight; it could take him a few weeks. It all depends on him now- he's going to heal at his own rate. " The doctor seemed saddened that he couldn't deliver better news.

There was a dull thump and Kurt looked over to see Blaine sitting against the wall, head in-between his knees, shoulders shaking. Finn walked over and put his hand on Blaine's shoulder and Kurt wanted to yell at him for being so insensitive. Kurt walked over to Blaine and went to wrap him in a hug when his hands went right through him.

Oh, right. He wasn't real.

"You don't know how many times I've seen you hurt, seen you crying over the past years and wished there was something I could do, but there never was." Elizabeth told him quietly.

"I need to go back. He's in so much _pain._" Kurt whispered, " I need to be there with him, I need to hold him."

"We still have a few things to see." Elizabeth told him. "He shouldn't be the sole reason for you to return. After I show you what's next, you can decide whether it's worth going back for."

They walked out of the hospital hallway and into a familiar room. A dome shaped window gleamed overhead as a beautiful white staircase curled into a grand landing. The foot of Dalton's main staircase was packed with people Kurt recognized: family, friends, and acquaintances alike.

A few stairs from the bottom, Blaine stood with an older man. Finn, Thad, Jeff, Sam, and Mike were on the stairs below his. On the opposite side of the staircase stood Mercedes, Rachel, Tina, Brittany and Santana, all in beautiful navy dresses.

Music began to play and Blaine and the audience turned to look up the stairway. Blaine's eyes lit up at something Kurt couldn't see from his vantage point. A gorgeous smile appeared on Blaine's face and it looked as if all of his cares in the world had been lifted at that moment.

Kurt moved closer to see what Blaine could possibly be looking at and was startled to see himself, his face holding an expression similar to Blaine's.

"Our wedding day," Kurt whispered to himself, tears streaming down his face. His future self looked so happy, so content, and once he reached the stair Blaine was on and stood beside him, he looked so at home that Kurt's heart ached. This was the love that he'd been looking for his whole life- his fairy tale ending.

"It doesn't matter," Kurt told his mom. "I may not be needed by dad or Finn or New Directions, but Blaine does need me, mom. He's the one I've been waiting my whole life for, and I can't wait for this day to come."

Elizabeth smiled at him, "This is my favorite day to watch. But baby, I don't think you understand how much your dad and Finn and the glee club could care if you just let them in. You're such a private person and it takes so much for you to let someone else know that you're hurting. Let them know, tell them that you're hurting and they may surprise you. No matter what your father and Finn do together, you're still his baby boy that he brought up and taught how to ride a bike. You're still Finn's brother. I know you may not feel like the glee club cares sometimes, but I promise that they do. And they'll be there when you need them most."

In the background, Kurt and Blaine were given permission to kiss and everyone applauded.

"There's one more thing you need to see, before you decide." Elizabeth took his hand again and they were in the New Directions choir room.

Mr. Schue was telling the rest of the glee club about Kurt's coma and they looked stricken. All of the girls were in tears, and most of the boys looked like they were close to it. Everyone just looked dead. Blaine wasn't there.

"See, they do care. You just need to give them the opportunity to."

Kurt watched as they completed a whole weeklong assignment just for him. Rachel and Mercedes sang "For Good" from Wicked. Sugar Motta sang a beautiful rendition of "Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again" from Phantom. Tina and Mike sang a duet of Sarah McLachlan's "Angel". Brittany and Santana did a duet of Beyonce's "Halo". Finn went for a song he'd already done and sang "I'll Stand By You", but there was not a dry eye in the room afterwards. Sam, Puck, Artie and Rory sang Mumford and Sons' "Little Lion Man". Kurt cried more than once at how beautiful it all was, how much they obviously cared for him.

"Time to go, baby." Elizabeth grabbed his hand and they were in Kurt's hospital room.

Kurt's body looked pale against the bedsheets, and Kurt stared down at himself, regretting the quick minded decision he'd made to jump off the bridge that had cost more pain than he ever realized. Blaine was sitting in a chair at his bedside, holding Kurt's hand, talking to him quietly. It was just Blaine in the room with Kurt's body, so Kurt figured his dad and Carole must be at work and Blaine must be skipping school to stay with him.

Kurt sat on the bed beside where Blaine was holding his hand, resting his hand on top of Blaine's warm one and his own cooler one. He knew Blaine couldn't possibly know that he was there, but he still thought it might comfort him in some small way. Blaine looked extraordinarily tired and his eyes were puffy from all of the crying. Kurt began to listen to what he was saying to Kurt's body.

"… and everyone, they sang songs for you this week in glee club, I wish you could be there to hear it, love. Everybody misses you so much. I miss you so much. I need you to wake up, baby. If you don't wake up, I don't know what I'm going to do. I- I have a song to sing for you too, okay?" Blaine let go of his hand and got up from the chair to grab his guitar that was in the corner.

He sat back down in the chair and began to strum. Kurt recognized the song, Aerosmith's "I Don't' Want To Miss A Thing", but a slower, acoustic version.

_I could lie awake just to hear you breathing  
>Watch you smile while you are sleeping<br>Well you're far away dreaming  
>I could spend my life in this sweet surrender<br>And just stay here lost in this moment forever  
>Well, every moment spent with you<br>Is a moment I treasure  
><em>  
>Blaine's voice was shaking with suppressed tears and tiredness, but it was still one of the most beautiful renditions of the song Kurt had ever heard.<p>

_I don't wanna close my eyes  
>I don't wanna fall asleep<br>'Cause I'd miss you, babe  
>And I don't wanna miss a thing<br>'Cause even when I dream of you  
>The sweetest dream will never do<br>I'd still miss you, babe  
>And I don't wanna miss a thing<em>

_Lying close to you  
>Feeling your heart beating<br>And I'm wondering what you're dreaming  
>Wondering if it's me you're seeing<br>Then I kiss your eyes and thank God we're together  
>And I just wanna stay with you<br>Just stay in this moment forever, forever and ever_

_I don't wanna close my eyes  
>I don't wanna fall asleep<br>'Cause I'd miss you, babe  
>And I don't wanna miss a thing<br>'Cause even when I dream of you  
>The sweetest dream will never do<br>I'd still miss you, babe  
>And I don't wanna miss a thing<em>

By this time, Kurt, Blaine, and Elizabeth were all in tears, and Kurt knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that this boy was the one he wanted to spend the rest of his life with, the one he wanted to be everything to and wanted to be his everything.

_I don't wanna miss one smile  
>I don't wanna miss one kiss<br>Well, I just wanna be with you  
>Right here with you, just like this<br>I just wanna hold you close  
>Feel your heart so close to mine<br>And stay here in this moment  
>For all the rest of time<em>

_Don't wanna close my eyes  
>Don't wanna fall asleep, yeah<br>I don't wanna miss a thing_

At the end of the song, Blaine put his guitar on the ground very ungracefully and grabbed Kurt's hand again with both hands.

"Please wake up. Please. I love you so much. Please wake up." Blaine seemed to have dissolved into a mantra of pleadings and declarations, winding down to the point where he eventually cried himself to sleep, his head pillowed on his arms, both hands still wrapped around one of Kurt's.

"It's time, baby. It's time to make your choice." Elizabeth put her hand on his shoulder. "At this point, you can choose if you'd like to go back, or go on. Going on, you wouldn't have to suffer anymore, there would be no more bullying, no more tears, no more hurts, and I think you've had enough of that to last a lifetime. You have to decide if this world is worth going back for. You have to decide if you're willing to go back to this world, if what you've seen has changed your mind about the decision you made to live your life."

She pulled him up to stand in front of her and the hospital room disappeared. "Kurt Christopher Hummel. You made the decision to kill yourself. You have the choice now to change that decision. What would you like to choose?"

Kurt stared back into his mother's face. No more pain. An eternity with his mother, and eventually everyone else would join him. Or a world of pain. A world of hurt. A world where he would have to fight for the right to love the boy he cared about more than anything. He now had to choose, between his mother or Blaine. Eventually, no matter what he chose, he would have both, but for now, he had to decide between one or the other.

Kurt took a deep breath. "I've made my decision."

* * *

><p>AN: I know you'll all hate me for leaving it there but it's the perfect place to!


	4. Chapter 4

Chap 4

The first thing Kurt saw when he opened his eyes was white. The light streaming in from the open window and reflecting off the white walls of his hospital room was more than his eyes, which had been closed for so long, could stand.

He shut his eyes again almost immediately until a sliver of light was just peeking through, trying to adjust. His throat was dry and there was a dull ache in his head. Eventually he was able to open his eyes and look around.

His hospital room looked the same as it had a few moments ago. Kurt frowned sadly. It had hurt to tell his mother that he was choosing to go back to be with Blaine, but he hoped she could understand.

Blaine was still asleep, both of his hands holding Kurt's left hand, which was still restrained with soft Velcro restraints to the bedside. Blaine's head was lying on the bed and his face seemed troubled, sad, even in sleep. His hair was un-gelled and fell in little ringlets around his face and Kurt had to smile because he'd never seen anything more adorable.

Kurt wished he could run his hand through Blaine's curls, but with both hands restrained, that would be very difficult. As much as he didn't want to wake Blaine up- he looked tired enough to sleep for days- if he wanted to get out of these restraints, it couldn't be avoided.

"Blaine." He whispered, "Blaine, wake up." He gripped Blaine's hands tightly, shaking them. "Blaine, love, wake up."

Blaine groaned and rolled his shoulders, his eyes opening unfocusedly and looking at his hands and Kurt's hand, where Kurt was squeezing them the way he hadn't for weeks.

Blaine's eyes slowly traveled up to meet Kurt's, and the second they made eye contact Kurt found a large teenage boy almost in his lap.

Blaine's hands were on either side of his head and he was kissing Kurt in a way that he never had before, so passionate, so needy, and Blaine was crying and Kurt was crying and he wished he could hold Blaine too but this was okay.

Blaine pulled away and rested his forehead on Kurt's, both of their eyes shining with tears. Blaine's hands cradled Kurt's head as if he was the most fragile thing ever.

"You're awake," Blaine whispered, "You're awake, oh God, I thought you'd never wake up. I love you, I love you so much."

"I love you too," Kurt whispered, "I'm so sorry, Blaine, I'm so sorry, I didn't think that me leaving would hurt this much but I know now and I promise I won't leave you again. I love you."

Blaine seemed to notice that he was practically sitting on Kurt's lap and slid to sit on the bed instead, still holding Kurt's face like he was afraid that Kurt would disappear any second.

"Blaine?" Kurt pulled at his hands; he wanted to hold Blaine too. "Will you undo these?"

"I'll call someone," Blaine pushed the button for a nurse, "If I did it, I'd get in a lot of trouble and I'd have to leave."

A few seconds later a nurse walked into the room, closely followed by Kurt's doctor.

"Ah, Mr. Hummel! Welcome back!" The doctor said brightly, "We've been waiting for you to wake up!"

"How long was I actually out?" Kurt asked curiously.

"Almost two weeks." Blaine said quietly, squeezing Kurt's hand. Blaine turned away like he was trying to hide his tears. Kurt looked after him, guilt riddling his body. He couldn't imagine how much pain he would be in if Blaine had been in a coma for two weeks.

"I'm sorry." He whispered, and Blaine turned to look at him and shook his head, telling Kurt not to be sorry.

"Alright, let's do some tests and get you out of those restraints, since you seem to be in a much better mood than you were before you got here." The doctor smiled. He checked Kurt's eyes, his reflexes, his heart rate, his blood pressure.

As he was finishing the tests, Burt, Carole, and Finn walked in, having obviously been called by the hospital to tell them he was awake.

"Kurt, before I take these restraints off, we have to talk about why you're here." The doctor told him seriously as everybody took a seat.

"I wasn't thinking," Kurt said softly, "I was hurt and insecure and mad at all the wrong things. I got a rejection letter from NYADA and a wait- list letter from Ohio State, which you probably found, and it was just all the wrong things happening at the wrong time. It was not being good enough to go to college, and just thinking about Sebastian and how he would be better for Blaine than I would be."

Blaine opened his mouth as if to interrupt him but the doctor motioned for him to stay silent.

"It was all the feelings from last year about not being able to relate to you coming back up with that note about the buckeyes game, it was being too effeminate for Tony and too much of a looser to be class president. It just kind of hit me all at once and I wanted out.

"But when I was in my coma, I saw my mom." Kurt smiled at the memory, "She showed me what I was going to miss if I left, and how much everyone really cared about me. I don't want to leave anymore. Not after what I saw."

Kurt turned to Blaine, "She told me about how you come and visit her all the time," Blaine's face lit up, like he wasn't expecting Kurt to know that at all, "and that really means a lot to me, and to her. I heard your song, Blaine. I was here, and I heard the whole thing."

The doctor looked intrigued. "What song did he sing?"

"I Don't Want To Miss a Thing by Aerosmith," Kurt told him confidently.

Blaine nodded, "He's right. About the song and about me visiting his mom. Nobody knew I went except me."

"Some people experience strange things in comas," The doctor told everyone, who was stunned, "Nobody's quite sure why, but Kurt's is one of the most interesting I've ever heard." He began to undo Kurt's restraints. "As you seem to have decided that suicide was not the best approach, I'm going to take these off. I hope that you'll continue to heal emotionally from this, Mr. Hummel. Physically, we should be okay to let you go tomorrow. You'll have to decide if you'd like to seek treatment."

"I'll be okay," Kurt flexed his wrists as they were released, "I learned my lesson."

The doctor left and Kurt's family crowded him, asking him more detailed parts about his experience with his mother. Kurt told them everything that he saw except for the scene at Dalton. He would save that to be between Blaine and himself.

Near 9, Burt, Carole, and Finn began to pack up to leave, and Kurt turned to Blaine, expecting him to be packing to go as well but instead finding him pulling out a sweatshirt and sweatpants from his bag tucked underneath the bed.

Burt, Carole, and Finn left after bidding their goodbyes and promising they'd be back tomorrow to check him out and Blaine took his sweats into the bathroom, emerging wearing them.

"Aren't you leaving too?" Kurt asked curiously.

"Nope, now scoot." Blaine told him, climbing into the bed next to him and pulling Kurt close. "I haven't left. I couldn't and I wouldn't."

Kurt turned to face him completely. "You've slept here for two weeks?"

"Yep," Blaine looked proud of himself. "Usually they bring a cot in here for me, but I'd rather sleep here if it's okay with you."

"You didn't have to-" Kurt started but Blaine interrupted him.

"Yes, I did. If I'd left, I would have spent the entire time I was gone worrying about you anyways, and I love you, Kurt. I don't want you to ever doubt that. I know you might think Sebastian might be better for me but you're wrong. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me and I need you to know that. You are my world, Kurt, and nothing can change that."

Kurt reclined back onto the bed, laying his head on Blaine's shoulder and looking up at him. "Can I tell you something; promise you won't think I'm crazy?"

Blaine looked down at him. "You can always tell me anything, Kurt."

"There was one more thing that my mom showed me that I didn't tell everyone else about. She showed me a little bit of my future." Kurt took a deep breath. "She showed me our wedding, Blaine, and it was perfect. It was beautiful. And I saw myself and the look on my face and I knew I'd never been happier than I was to be marrying you, and you looked so happy too. I know we're only in high school, but one day, I want that to come true."

"It will." Blaine kissed his forehead, "I can't wait to marry you one day, Kurt. It doesn't matter if we're just in high school. I was being honest when I said you were the one I'd been looking for forever. That day will come, Kurt, I promise. I just need you to promise me two things in return."

"Anything," Kurt swore, sighing as Blaine's arm wrapped around his shoulders.

"First, that you'll love me forever too." Blaine smiled at him warmly.

Kurt grinned, "No problem."

"Second, the next time that you're hurting like this, that you'll come and talk to me no matter what. I love you, and these last two weeks were torture not knowing if you were going to wake up. I need you to know that you can always come to me, with anything, no matter what."

"I promise," Kurt told him seriously.

Blaine's hand caressed the back of Kurt's neck and he leaned in to kiss him on the lips. It was passionate, romantic, and perfect.

"I love you, Kurt Hummel, forever."


	5. Epilogue

Blaine

Blaine kneeled in front of a familiar head stone. It shouldn't be familiar.

It just wasn't fair, that some people didn't get enough time on this earth.

His heart ached as he laid a bouquet of roses at the foot of the headstone, talking to it fondly, warmly, familiarly.

The grave was situated in a beautiful corner of the Lima memorial cemetery, with wildflowers blooming just beyond the fence and horses running in the fields beyond.

He hung his head. In a few minutes, he would have to leave in order to be on time for his wedding, but this was important.

He touched the gravestone lightly, "I wish you could be there. It would mean so much if you were. Thank you, for everything."

A few tears crawled down Blaine's face as he turned to leave, and he felt a small breath of wind dry them, as he always felt every time he was here, and it was the thing that always convinced him that he could be heard, that he was understood by greater powers than what he could fathom.

He got into his car and turned on the radio to a Broadway station, pulling out of the graveyard slowly.

He had some time to think before he arrived at the wedding, time to think about what he would say when it came time to exchange vows, because he honestly had not been able to decide on anything yet.

By the time he'd arrived, he'd decided on what he wanted to say. It was so hard trying to decide how to describe someone who meant so much to him.

As he got out of the car, he was ushered inside by his best man, cleaned up, hair fixed. Before he knew it, he was walking down a familiar hallway and into a grand foyer where a large spiral staircase sprawled into beautiful marble tile work. The foyer was filled with many guests: friends, family, and former classmates.

The music started and the wedding procession filed in, beautiful in matching tuxes and gowns. It seemed as if the whole ceremony was moving too fast because there was really only one thing that he was waiting for, one thing he needed to see.

The music changed and he turned to look up the staircase.

There, descending the stairs was the most beautiful man he had ever seen, dressed in all white, with chestnut brown hair and bright blue eyes filled with love and adoration. His pale skin contrasted spectacularly with his tuxedo, a little more 'blinged out' than Blaine's, but that just made Blaine love him all the more.

He reached the stair where Blaine stood and Blaine took his hand, and he was home. This was where he belonged, where he was happiest, and there was never going to be a better moment than this one. It turned out that it didn't matter if he had written his vow just beforehand because he didn't use it anyway, just making it up on the spot, because the one he had written before just wasn't good enough for the beautiful man in front of him. He was Blaine's inspiration and he went on and on about teenage dreams and courage and a bird.

Before Blaine knew it, the officiator was speaking to him. "Do you, Blaine Darren Anderson, take Kurt Christopher Hummel to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, for better or for worse, for richer or for poor, to love and to cherish for as long as you both shall live?"

The words that came to Blaine's lips were the easiest ones he had ever said: "I do."

"Do you, Kurt Christopher Hummel, take Blaine Darren Anderson to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, for better or for worse, for richer or for poor, to love and to cherish for as long as you both shall live?"

Kurt smiled warmly "I do." He said victoriously.

Brittany approached with the rings and Blaine and Kurt each took theirs to give to the other.

Blaine held Kurt's left hand in his own and slid the ring onto his finger. "With this ring, I thee wed, and with all that I am and all that I have I honor you, and I pledge my love and my life to you forever."

Kurt's eyes were shining with unshed tears as he took Blaine's left hand and slid a gold ring onto his ring finger. "With this ring, I thee wed, and I give you my promise that from this day forward my heart will be your shelter and my arms will be your home, may we feel this joy forever."

The officiator spoke, "By the power invested in me by the state of Ohio, I now pronounce you married. You may kiss your husband."

Blaine leaned forward and captured Kurt's lips with his own and he was no longer afraid of anything, because Kurt was his and he was Kurt's forever and nothing could ever change that. He would never be alone again.

They broke the kiss and Kurt regarded him with a playful look in his eye. "I love you, Mr. Anderson-Hummel."

"I love you too, Mr. Anderson- Hummel." Blaine winked at him as they turned towards the guests.

As they walked back down the aisle together, Blaine smiled. It had only been for a second, but he knew he had seen Elizabeth Hummel in the audience, and he was happy to know that he had her blessing.

He held his husband's hand as they walked together into their new life.


End file.
